Life's funny

  So with the up coming deployment comes a long list of things to buy, get done and prepare for.  We have been stocking up on feed for the animals.  Making sure fence is fixed and gates are hung and things are ready for winter even though it is just now August.  Up here in the mountains we heat our house with a wood stove, so firewood is vital. All things that will make it a bit easier on me so I don't have to worry about it or have to make the extra trip.  I have no doubt in my mind that if we needed help we have some wonderful friends both military and not that would come to my rescue.  It's happened before and it will happen again - it's the Murphy's law of deployments. 

  The important things become very clear and at the forefront when you are faced with a deployment.  You take time to enjoy the little things.  Walking in the garden together seeing the fruits of our labor, having a patient cancel first thing in the morning allowing us to eat breakfast together.  As much as you don't want to think about it but those could be the last time you do these things together.  With Trav prepping to leave soon we have been slapped in the face with reality as one of the members of our rescue community has been lost.  Circumstances unknown at this point.  The unit that experienced this loss is the very one he is to be joining and eventually going to Afghanistan with.  To say our day was spent on a roller coaster of emotions would be putting it mildly.  All the what ifs and thoughts of how things had been taking a while to get done and how people weren't doing their jobs and getting things done causing him to be delayed came rushing in. 

  Now I will never fully understand this loss from his perspective or even the job he does to be honest.  He can tell me and explain it and show me photos but I will never be in his shoes.  All I can do is be there for him, support him and be proud of him.  I can try to help him express his feelings his frustration, fear, sadness, and whatever else bubbles up.  His feelings seem to just be under the surface and things like this make them boil over.  It is understandable - to survive seeing trauma over and over and yourself being in danger over and over you have to create a safe place to put all those feelings.  This has served him well in the past but eventually it was the issue we faced after last time he came home.  Things can only be swept under the rug for so long before the rug is 5 feet off the floor.  


  So we hug each other tighter and linger in our kisses.  We encompass each other in prayer and ask God to not only physically protect him but emotionally and mentally protect him as well as watch over those of us back here at home.  We ask God to help us keep our relationship strong and us focused on Him.  Knowing we are not promised tomorrow and it is the little things that will matter in the long run.