A Vet??

  As I dropped off Travis at the airport at 5 am this morning, it marked the 11th time we have done this.  Now, that is 11 times he has gone over seas to defend this country.  That does not count the numerous times he has had to be gone stateside for training and exercises and what not, I have lost track of those.  There was time early in our marriage that I had a good idea of how many times he had been away and how it reflected more time apart than together.  But you can't dwell on that.  To see people who have a spouse deployed constantly saying, "whoa is me" and this happened and that happened because he is gone is ridiculous.  Yes, crazy things occur in life and yes they seem to creep in a bit more when a deployment is in progress but you will get stuck in a negative place if you keep that attitude.

  I had a friend tell me she will be hitting me up during her husbands up coming deployment with questions and for support since I am a "vet" at this.  To me this is laughable, I don't consider myself a professional at this at all.  We have a routine for sure.  He sets stuff out and I pack it.  I can take a crap load of stuff and fit it in a bag - now the bag will weigh a ton but it will contain all he needs.  I write little notes and tuck them away in his things so he finds them at different times throughout his trip and I write a letter or card and tuck it in there too.  We email and Skype and he calls when he can, which is wonderful but it is funny to think back to our first deployment.  Email was around but not as widely used as today so we hand wrote letters, yes, paper, pen, stamps and envelopes every day.  We were lucky enough to have a DSN phone near his room that he could call directly to a stateside base and we could talk.  But I still cry as I pull away from the airport, I still keep a shirt of his tucked under my pillow so I can catch a whiff of his scent as I fall asleep.  There has not been one deployment that has been like another.  With every new one comes a different set of challenges and circumstances.  These are the times God uses to grow us the most.

  One of the biggest obstacles for me is not that he is gone, not that I am doing things alone but the looks people give you when they find out.  I am not an invalid and if you knew an ounce about our relationship you would know I do most of it already, even when he is here.  I can swing a hammer, I can use power tools, I have no issue getting muddy or dirty and mucking out stalls in the barn, I organize and cook and run errands.  I just like having him here for love and support and to help.  But the pitiful looks and those who don't understand why we do what we do cuts the deepest.  The comments of "He has to go back?" or "Why him?" are not something I can answer.  They will never understand, even some of our family who has been there through it all still doesn't totally get it.  I get pressure from a few of them as to why he hasn't called or email them and am made to feel like it is a chore for them to call me, but I am over that. It's not about them.  All that matters is that he contacts me, it's not like he is sitting over there eating bonbons and at the spa.

  I usually try to plan projects or have even learned new things while he has been gone.  I have worked on sewing and learned to knit, attempted guitar and have organized and purged numerous houses always rearranging furniture in the process.  It helps to keep busy and work towards something, if you just around a stew and worry you will drive yourself crazy.  There are already enough crazy military wives out there I don't need to join them.