Stepping out of my box

  This competition prep has definitely been a new experience.  I have always been active and tried to eat healthy but when it comes to stepping foot on a stage that is new to me. Yes, I did dance, choir, played sports but that was all as a team, never alone, in a spot light.  I can be girly but I am not a girly girly per se.  I can dress up and pull an outfit together when needed but I also have no issue putting on boots and getting outside and tackling the dirtiest of jobs.  I have never been one to plaster make-up on and curl my hair before heading out, yes I'll put on a bit of concealer and lip gloss but I like the natural look.  So to have to think about make-up, hair, tanning, nails, etc is a bit overwhelming.  Luckily this competition will have hair and make-up people backstage that we can sign up with and they will take care of it.  Because let's be honest, I am going to be tanner than I have ever been so there is no way to know what make-up to use.

  Sitting down and adding up the expenses is a bit overwhelming too.  At the prep camp I attended last weekend they suggested we seek out sponsors or start a gofundme.com account.  All of which is again out of my box.  I hate asking for money.  As a teenager I scrimped and budgeted to pay for my gas and lunches.  I babysat and worked at daycares and goodwill.  So deciding to follow this advise given and seek out help has been hard.  I mean this isn't a need, this isn't a charity, this is just me trying to reach a goal, a dream I have set for myself.  It is not cheap to set foot on stage.  I need a suit, shoes, hair, nails, tan, and jewelry.  They even suggest a back up suit just in case something happens to the first one. I have hired a trainer to help with my nutrition and workout plan along with posing.  We could probably figure a way to cover most of my expenses but having people behind me has helped me keep focused.  It's not just  me invested in this anymore.  I am not one to put my whole life out there for everyone to see.   I don't believe in playing the pity card and counting the woes I have survived especially for gain.  God will bless me in His own way if I keep focused on Him.  Those who seek gratification from the praise of others have their reward in just that.  

  Honestly, I go through phases of "I can totally do this" to "What in the heck am I doing."  My husband has been awesome.  He tells me I am being silly and yes I can do this and to look at how far I have come.  I keep track of the my measurements, weight and body fat and I have seen losses in all areas.  It is hard to look in the mirror everyday and see the changes I have made.  Taking pictures and using those guides I mentioned have helped tremendously.  As I close in on being 12wks out from this competition I remain focused and determined to trust the process and stick to my routine and plan.  I WILL do this and just stepping foot on stage with the knowledge that I accomplished my goal will be all the gratification I need.  I will do this for me with God's help and with Him I can do anything. 

http://www.gofundme.com/jennynichole