Loss and the future

  Most of you have probably heard or read that we recently had the two youngest boys taken & rehomed by CYFD. To say that it was a hard couple of weeks is putting it lightly.  We had known this could happen, we had been warned. But for no one in these kids families to have stepped forward in the 8 months prior we thought it wasn't going to happen. But like we have heard before, sometimes the parents don't tell all the family they have had their kids taken & once it starts looking like they won't get them back they finally spill the beans & seek someone in the family to take the child.

  With the youngest, Ethan, who was 14 months it was the hardest because his worker pretty much has never really been a good communicator & called one day to say a relative had been approved & that they wanted to move him the following day & to let her know a good time. I emailed her, per her request, and received no reply so we went about the next day as usual. She then called me again saying she had returned my email & wanted to know if we could bring him to Albuquerque that night. Now, she did reply to my email, one minute before she called (hello time stamp). So I told her no I didn't have his things together because she hadn't replied the day before.  She asked why I couldn't run & get them - I told her because I am at work.  She proceeded to raise her voice at me (my coworker sitting across from me heard every word) telling me she wasn't going to argue with me & that she could come pick him up. But when I explained how late it would be by the time we got him from daycare and got his things together she changed her mind.  After her ugly phone call I spoke with Travis & let him know all this & that this worker had better not call again, he relayed that to our worker.  So the following evening we took our sweet little guy to the CYFD office where they handed him over to a total stranger. No previous meetings, nada. The lady had a brand new 2 door sports car & asked if she had to go buy diapers. To say we were hurt, shocked & disgusted by the system is putting it mildly. 

  Our other kiddo, Kayden, has made gigantic strides since he came into our care. But sadly we came to the decision he needed a higher level of care than we can provide & his mom & dad are far from being close to getting him back. So we asked our worker to seek out a higher level of care home for him. He needs someone who can stay home with him & run him to appointments & watch his food allergies etc. Little did we know a family member had come forward for him also.  An older lady with a daughter in college. She will stay home with him & was very thankful to us for taking good care of him. She had meet him before - a while back & remarked how well he looked compared to then. We exchanged phone numbers & emails & assured her that we had no problem with her calling if she had questions. Kayden went in the car with her telling us goodbye. I doubt he will ever fully comprehend what has happened but it is what is best for him. She even brought him a puppy to have as a pal. 

  As for CYFD it is broken in our eyes. Not just because the boys are gone but because how things were handled. Overworked staff, short staffed & at times with little compassion. We have always tried to be patient & understanding knowing the few do much. But when we are treated poorly that is not ok & when a worker continues to mess up & make excuses & not take responsibility for their actions that is not ok. 

  So for this family - no more foster kiddos. We are sticking to the ones who are ready for their forever homes. Praying that those kids who are meant to be Willinghams one day will find their way to us.