15 years

Basic Training

  21 October marks 15 years that my sweet husband has been serving in the Air Force.  Some days it is hard to believe it has been that long and other days we think, "is that all??"  To think back on all the years we have spent in this life can be overwhelming.  There has been moves, illnesses, deaths in the family, seperation, missed mile stones and holidays.  But you can't dwell on that. I used to keep track of how much he was gone compared to how much he was home.  Eventually it tipped towards gone more than home and it was pointless to continue down that road.  I have to think about why he does what he does.  He doesn't want to be away from his family, he doesn't want to miss out on things but his love for this country is so great that he sacrifices those things to do what he believes in.  I, in turn have to accept this choice and support it.  I have never questioned this, not from day one.  I have always known this was in him and that this is his path.  Do I wish he was home more sure, but when he is away we get to chat and discuss things that might get pushed to the way side if he was home.  We get to dream about the future and look forward to the day he gets to come home.  It makes those times we do have together mean that much more.

Engagement 1999

 When we were first married he was Security Forces.  After 5 years of doing that he cross trained into Aerial Gunner on HH60 Helicopters.  His job now is one that I try not to think to much about.  I know he in danger when gone.  I mean just riding in a helicopter is a feat.  And flying around with the mission of rescuing injured people while be shot at poses a whole other set of difficulties.  He tells me somethings but mostly he keeps his daily goings on to himself.  He wants to hear what we are up to and the silly things the kids or animals have done.  I tell him the hard stuff too like when something is broken, I have had a stressful day or an extra expense pops up.  I can't hide these things from him but I also don't turn it around and blame him for them.   He knows I can handle most things around here and that is some comfort for him.  I have heard most of his stories while sitting with some of his "work" buddies.  I feel pride when I hear these things, some are scary yes, some are hard to hear but it is part of this life and I am not naive enough to think everything is safe and flowery over there.

Basic Training

  It is hard but we make it work.  In the early years hand written letters were lovingly mailed and phone calls made on DSN lines and heartbreak was felt when those calls were missed.  Now we have email, skype, face time, even texting when he has wifi.  Smart phones make it so much easier.  Email, text, face time and Skype all at my finger tips. I am able to send pictures and thoughts that pop in my head instantly.   Communication is vital during deployments, there were times when daily communication wasn't possible but it was hard not knowing how things were on his end.  It takes work and after 15 years I think we finally have it down.

  In all the difficulties that arise with the Air Force the most frustrating thing has to be family that just don't seem to get it.  Not that they are not supportive but that they don't get the full picture.  When he is gone he is not on vacation.  He is not sitting around just killing time, there is a constant stream of things going on and the little extra time he has he goes to the gym and chats with me and chloe.  There are times internet is down or phone calls can't be made even time to reply to emails can be hard to find.  He needs to know he is supported and loved and not feel pressure to worry about things back home.  

  He will always be my hero.  I am full of pride and love when I look at him in his uniform and know he does what he does because he believes in the mission.  So I am here to support him for 15 more years if that is his choice but I have a feeling there are new adventures waiting for us.

Spouse Flight 2012

Help

  I strive to be independent, I actually think it is my biggest strength and my biggest weakness all in one.  I will do things around the house or on my own for the sake of not having to ask to for help.  Mostly this boils down to not wanting to disrupt anyone else's day, life or schedule.  But this time around I have had to ask for help on several occasions and I am finding that the world has not come to an end and no one has ended up hating me as a result.

  With Ethan getting bigger and sleeping through the night I set him up a crib in our office, now turned guest room and along with that came moving a pretty large desk out of the way.  Could I have done it, maybe, would it have been hard, definitly.  So I gave in when my co-worker offered the help of her husband and his buddy to load it up for me.  They had it done in no time and I was so grateful.

  Our large four wheeler has not been running and Trav was not able to get it figured out before he left.  So our friend came over to look at it, not just once but twice and ended up taking it into town to be serviced for me and then delivered it when it was done.  This is one of the things that yes I could have done but would have been difficult.  Loading up the four wheeler and taking it into town when it fit my schedule or having to take the boys would have been difficult. He also did a few other tweeks on it and now it is ready for us to use it around the farm this winter.  We use it to move stuff around the property and move fire wood and it is an essential part of farm life, not just a toy. So having it up and running again is definitely a blessing.

  We have this carport that we bought from someone out here in the mountains and Trav had started to put it up before he left but like a lot of things this didn't get finished.  My co-workers husband came to the rescue again.  We made a trade and he set it up in a day.   He was also able to get firewood delivered for me.  I was nervous about having someone come deliver firewood at the house with just me there or even thinking it was just me there.  These are things that I would have just tackled on my own before.  It is by far less stressful having the help.

  My mom and step dad came to visit this past weekend and he offered to help with somethings around the house.  So, I gave him my list. He looked it over and said, "Ok".   He hung some new lights in the kitchen, replaced my broken bathroom sink, fixed some loose grout in the master shower and caulked around the kitchen counter and sink, fixed the left side drain in my kitchen sink and installed an automatic gate opener on our entry gate.  Amazing!





 Sometimes God grows you by making you rely on yourself and sometimes he does it by making you reach out for help. I had a friend tell me once that people wouldn't offer if they didn't mean it and by letting people help you when you really need it can actually be a blessing to them.

Winter

As far as seasons go I love fall the most, of course, with cool days & the leaves changing it marks the start of the holiday season. Warm cinnamony smells and colors of rich brown and orange and yellow all around.  But winter holds a special place. Travis & I were engaged in winter, Chloe came into this world on a snowy winter day, many wonderful family memories growing up took place in winter. I love boots, sweaters, scarves, jeans & coats. I love soup, hot chocolate & coffee. Sitting inside by the fire watching snow fall is one of the most peaceful things you can experience.  

  But with winter comes a lot of prep work here on the farm. Water hoses have to be insulated & include heaters. Tarps are applied to animal pens to help block wind. New bedding is added to the chicken coop & pig pen. Heat lamps are plugged in at night to keep the chickens warm.  A horse blanket is put on our older horse at night. Filling the barn with grass, straw & feed for the animals. Fire wood has to be bought, moved & stacked. Chimney has to be swept & ready to rock and roll.  Not to mention you have to actually know how to start a good fire that will continue to burn and keep the house warm.  I actually make fire starters from empty egg cartons, toilet paper rolls, dryer lint and used Scentsy and candle wax - ultimate recycling at its best.

  Along with winter comes snow, ice & freezing temps. All of this makes doing things a little bit harder.  The normal morning routine has to be modified.  Layers are applied as you head outside, hats and gloves and scarves and coats become the norm by the front door.  You have to take extra time to break ice off water bowls and shovel snow out of the way, remove the horses coat and do everything early enough so that by the time you leave for the day you can let them out of their stalls so they will be able to get in the barn if need be.  All of these things are hard and sometimes overwhelming but they must be done.  We had one chicken die this past week and another not acting right and was actually getting stepped on by her fellow coop mates.  We moved her in to the garage with a bed, food, water and a heater.  She is now running around the garage seemingly on the mend and we will move her back to her coop in the morning.  But with animals you have to constantly watch and check and keep up with them because they can't tell you when something is wrong.  

  In telling Travis what we have been doing everyday in prep for winter he commented that I am supermom, this cracks me up because I don't see it that way.  I see our home and all that comes with it as a challenge yes, but one that can be conquered.  I am not afraid to do things, my brain loves a puzzle and I find creative ways to fix things around here.  So for now I take comfort in knowing while my husband is away I can manage three kids, a job, a house and a farm because God has made me a strong woman and placed some very special people in my life to help me along the way and I know that this in turn comforts my husband while he is away.