Respit

res·pite

noun

1. 1.

   a short period of rest or relief from something difficult or unpleasant.

   "the refugee encampments will provide some respite from the suffering"

   
   

   

     A break, a change of pace, yes. But I do not agree with the above definition of my weekend.  Respite was a tough choice, we had put it off for months, not really needing it feeling like they are ours and not wanting to send them off to strangers.  But with Travis gone and everything pretty much falling on me it was time to do it.  I needed the weekend to just do things for me and the house and Chloe needed a break too.  Plus we needed mommy daughter time.  I was uneasy about leaving them to say the least.  I wrote a 3 page instruction guide, including a rough schedule and everything I could think of to tell the couple that would take care of them.  There was food info, bed time routine, potty cues and favorite things listed.  I packed their things in the car and chloe and I loaded up to go get the boys from daycare and take them to the home they would be at for the weekend.
   
     As I left them I tried to point out the most important things and anything else I could remember to tell them.  Kayden had walked right in and made himself at home, quickly finding the potty and the cat, telling me he would see me later.  Ethan on the other hand was not so sure, he reached for me and made a face that was quizzical and worried.  I felt bad but knew they would be fine.  Chloe and I walked out and got in the car and drove away.  We went into a couple of stores - no stroller or little person asking to get back in the car.  No unbuckling car seats and carrying diaper bags.  We went to dinner and a movie and shared some candy and soda and laughed.  We drove home and discussed the movie and what we would do the next day.  I got home and enjoyed some quiet time in front of the TV.  I went to bed with no worries of being awoken by crying or needs for the potty.  I tried to enjoy the quiet and the time I had to myself.
   
     But of course in my true fashion I was up at 5 or 5:30 every morning going full speed ahead.  I got to chat with my hubby via text while I worked on different projects.  I went through the entire pantry and organized it.  I finished filing and organizing all of Trav's air force paperwork and cleaned out the hall closet making room for all the things I would be cleaning out of the office and went through any and everything that got in my way.  I went through the coat closet and organized all of it's contents.  I set up the day bed and trundle bed in what used to be the office and made it into a guest room / room for Ethan by adding his crib where the office desk used to be.  I did break down and accept help from a friends husband to move the desk out of the office for me so I could take it to a consignment shop.  I made curtains for the doors into the laundry room and hung some cute cafe lights above the same set of doors - this was chloe's idea and I love the warm glow it gives the hallway.  I also had some sewing projects that had been put on the back burner that I was able to finish - one pair of my pants to hem and two pairs of shorts for another friends husband and some pillows for the guest bed.  I love marking things off my list and seeing the nice clean and organized house as a result.  I know Travis appreciates it very much especially when he comes home from being gone and everything is clean and put away, it just makes it more relaxing for him.
   
      My sweet husband kept saying do something for you and don't forget to relax but he also knows that this is what I do when he is gone and it is my way of relaxing and de-stressing, my inner geek shines through.  I love organizing and using my label maker and putting things in baskets and containers.  I did get time to workout and enjoy just sitting and doing nothing.  Chloe and I also went one night and painted pottery.  She really enjoys this and it is fun to see her creativity come out.  I love just riding in the car with her and hearing about her day and her friends and their silliness.  My sweet little girl is now taller than me and growing too fast and has been a wonderful helper to me these past couple months.  So now we are back at our crazy, busy life but definitely feeling refreshed.

Change

  To say last week was stressful would be an understatement.  No nothing major went wrong with the house, the car, work, Chloe's school, etc.  But we changed daycares for the boys 2 weeks ago and what I thought would be a great transition has turned into a nightmare.  I visited this place prior to the move, spoke with the director and explained both kiddos needs, especially our 4yr old who has a special diet and is new to potty training.  I was meet with yes, we can help with potty training and we will comply with his special diet and I left feeling good about this.  You see the other place they were attending was a bit of a hike for the social workers to drive to get them for visits because it was up a mountain and I also questioned how the roads would be in the winter but they never flinched at a special request, they bought all new food and changed their menu to help out with his special diet.   The class sizes were smaller and he received  more attention.  Now I leave him for 2 hours so I can do yoga and he has gone through three changes of clothes, I am finding that they tell me one thing, tell the social worker another thing and do neither.  If he was mine I would have pulled him out and gave them a piece of my mind, but I can't do that.  So now we are faced with finding him an aid to accompany him to daycare and finding a new place for both boys.  

  I am not delusional enough to think he is an easy kid.  I worked in daycare throughout high school and when I was first married and even went back by request of my employer for a little bit after chloe was born, I have potty trained numerous children, worked with autistic kids, kids with down syndrome and as a Dental hygienist I have had many MR and special needs patients both children and adults.  One thing I can tell you is kids, special needs or not,  can smell fear and can find weakness and buttons to push.  So because they have labeled him as autistic and trouble now, Kayden is not being taken care of properly.  He is a very intelligent little boy, can tell you all his numbers, letter, colors, shapes, remembers how to get places, like church or the grocery store and can open any door he is presented with.  He has figured out that the teachers are afraid to be firm with him and he uses tantrums and peeing his pants for attention.  This is a kid who can go all weekend with maybe one or two accidents and that is with us running around and doing errands and going to church and playing outside but yet he is at daycare for a few hours and has numerous accidents.  I know he is new to potty training and he will say, "I need to go potty" when he is in trouble or doesn't want to do something but even on his worst day, his biggest fit he has never purposefully peed on himself.  So I am at a loss, I cannot stay home with him all the time, honestly I love my job, and we need my pay check.  So there are lots of prayers going up on this subject, what to do with him, where he should go, etc.  

  He is not by any means a trouble kid.  He is very sweet and active and for the most part acts like every other four year old boy.  It breaks my heart to think of him not being properly taken care of.  I know they look at him and see a happy healthy four year old boy with some behavioral issues and when it comes to the potty issue I don't think they totally get that just 4

mos ago he was in full diapers with serious tummy issues. And now a month into potty training and 3wks into full under he does have some issues but what kid doesn't.  He needs to be celebrated for the leaps and bounds he has accomplished not punished for not meeting their standards.  

  So we are still in limbo, pretty much told by the current daycare he cannot return after the 30th of this month and trying to find him the help he needs plus a safe and understanding place for him to go during the day.  That has been the most stressful part of this whole thing trying to figure out care and services for him.  But we will keep plugging along and hopefully get this little guy the help he needs and deserves.

A Little Organization to Soothe the Soul

This past week has flown by.  I only ended working at the office for one half day.  When Doctor is out of town it is like word spreads like wild fire and people think that he will never know they didn't show for their appointment or cancelled it.  So the schedule slowly began to fall apart and ultimitly ended in no patients for me.

  It actually worked out fine though I was able to get a lot done around the house.  I moved parts to a carport we are putting up from the driveway to the location Trav had started to assemble it before he left.  I moved two loads of branches that had been trimmed from near the garden to the pile we have near the fence line to eventually be run through the chipper. I used the electric chain saw to trim up some branches big enough to keep for fire wood.  I hauled two rolls of chain link fence up onto the truck and parts of the old trampoline to take them to the trailer that is our take to the dump pile.  All of this stuff was in the drive way somewhere either by the side of the house or in front of the garage or just in a large opening sitting and it looks so much better now that it is cleaned up.

  I then set to work on the garage.  I know, I know that is a man's domain but it never has been for this family, I keep it organized and know how to use almost all of the tools out there.  I can remember my Dad pulling everything out of the garage a few times a year sweeping and actually hoseing it out and then reorganizing everything.  I believe I get this need to clean the garage from him and my mom always kept the house organized and clean so with those two influences combined I am bound to be a little OCD about things.  So I first tackled Trav's gear, the numerous pelican cases and containers full of stuff looked like a daunting task but I was determined.  So I set up two tables and had just recently moved the love seat from my bedroom in there and began setting things out.  I opened case after case and placed all the like items together.  I can't even begin to describe the amount of gear this man has, I mean one whole case ended up being just gloves, gloves!  And then there were the two cases, one that I could actually comfortably get into, that were just extra bags, like back packs and lugage.  So I set to work seperating and organizing and labeling everything.  once that was done it was amazing how much better it looked in there already.  Then I finished up the rest of the garage and swept the floor and admired my work, everything put away and everything labeled and I still had room for the cases he took with him.  I set up a little area for working out I could probably even get my car in there if I needed to.

The project I am tackling now is the office.  I have a box of papers from his military career that I am sorting and going to file.  I went to Office Max and found folders and file boxes, it was far more exciting than it should have been. I also plan on moving some of the office furniture around and making it more of a guest/baby room so Ethan, the youngest kiddo we have, can eventually move into there.  With my mom and step dad coming out next month and then later on my best friend Kristen and her daughter coming that will give them all a place to stay inside the house.

It is amazing how going through things and organizing them can make you feel better.  I alway do this while Trav is gone.  I go through the house, purge, organize and deep clean.  Maybe it's a way of passing the time or kind of like nesting I guess.  Preparing for his return and making sure everthing is in order to allow for more time together and a peaceful place for him to return to.  I know it is relaxing to him to have a home that is clean and tidy and not crammed with a bunch of junk and clutter as it is for me.